From the Archives: Materialization: Tim Returns
I (August) came across this in the Blog Archives. I was amazed to read it, as I had totally forgotten it, if that can be imagined. This is yet another perfect example of what we call "psychospiritual amnesia" -- an effect that results from the ego-mind coming in contact with numinous events. It appears this effect continues on, unless re-confronted with the event or a record of it.
From today's journal:
While waiting to fall asleep last night, I made a strong wish to be with Tim – nothing complicated or intense, just sincere. Whether it was in a dream, or in the astral, I didn’t care.
I had almost fallen asleep, or perhaps had fallen asleep, when Tim began to materialize in the bed next to me, very slowly — it gently woke me up. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening as I came to consciousness. The room was dark and it was hard to see, but I could feel his hair growing thicker as his body grew more solid and warm. I could feel that his eyes were closed as I touched his face, and he kept softly repeating “careful, now.” I was filled with astonishment. It had been over 5 years since something like this had happened, and I had thought that it was no longer possible, or that he had moved beyond this, somehow. He seemed not at all weak but very slow, as if heavy or tired. I held his head between my hands and kissed him on the forehead. “Careful, now,” he continued to mumble, “no lights, no lights, please.” His flesh was still not fully formed and very pliable, like raw bread dough in some places. His lower lip stretched out too much when I kissed him. I told him I loved him. I didn’t know what else to say, except “thank you.” . . . “you made it!” . . . “wow!”
Then he moaned a little, and said softly, “I’m cold.”
“Would you like some covers?” I asked. I had only the sheet on the bed; the comforter was nearby on the chair next to it.
“Yes” he said. I sat up and leaned over him to pull the comforter towards us, but then realized something.
“Wait – you could get too warm from this, you need to stay cool to stay formed.” I don’t know how I knew that, but I did. As I was saying this, I was still drawing the comforter towards us, and then he simply faded away with no sound, no warning. I lay there thinking I should get up and write down all that had happened before the usual psychospiritual amnesia took hold and the experience faded away as well. But I was to enthralled to move, and I fell asleep and had strange dreams. Someone in a dream came and kept telling me to wake up, wake up, go write it down! Somehow, I did wake up, and so the thought to write it down was barely interrupted, and I was able to get up and go to my desk for some paper and a pencil.
Later — In spite of a very long and hectic work day, it felt as quick as a nap, barely real, barely making an impression on me, and I had more energy than I’d had in months. I was thriving on the knowledge that Tim truly lives. And there was a major difference this time. I experienced no sickness or side- or after-affects; Tim seemed to be unaffected as well, and the fading was quick and gentle, not the usual dramatic, sometimes violent affair it had been in the past. I’m wondering — why the difference?
And —what next?